The stubborn impulse towards No is likely written all over Ellis' face.
But it's held in check. His fingers curl in Thot's fur, the lightest inclination towards a belly scritch as Ellis looks directly back at Richard.
"Is it so hard to guess?"
Is not an answer. But Richard has, for some time now, had a knack of making Ellis feel as if he has been rendered transparent. It's not an entirely comfortable thing.
And there is an element of predictability in this. Richard had asked him for something that feels like—
Harm.
But it's held in check. His fingers curl in Thot's fur, the lightest inclination towards a belly scritch as Ellis looks directly back at Richard.
"Is it so hard to guess?"
Is not an answer. But Richard has, for some time now, had a knack of making Ellis feel as if he has been rendered transparent. It's not an entirely comfortable thing.
And there is an element of predictability in this. Richard had asked him for something that feels like—
Harm.
“Why approximate when we have the power to make ourselves perfectly clear.”
It just makes sense.
No elfroot, no wine, and for Richard, no distractions. There’s an answering challenge to his patience, a steady lean of weight onto an invisible prybar. He hasn't blinked.
The only small mercy between them is Thot. She lolls idle where she’s held, purring, velvety soft, the thin whip of her tail curled and flicked in a lazy cycle between her feet.
It just makes sense.
No elfroot, no wine, and for Richard, no distractions. There’s an answering challenge to his patience, a steady lean of weight onto an invisible prybar. He hasn't blinked.
The only small mercy between them is Thot. She lolls idle where she’s held, purring, velvety soft, the thin whip of her tail curled and flicked in a lazy cycle between her feet.
This level of scrutiny inevitably brings with it discomfort. It's inescapable.
Ellis doesn't like to be studied closely.
He doesn't like to dredge up such explanations either. This one in particular is thorny, barbed with things Ellis is honor-bound not to speak aloud. And he knows instinctively that Richard will find the incomplete nature of the answer unfulfilling, and the impasse barring him from the rest to be a frustration.
Thot's purr vibrates under his fingers.
"I don't want this life for you," is as close as Ellis can get. It's shadowed with a particular truth: You're asking me to gamble with your life. There are many who do not survive the Joining, but that Ellis can never say.
Ellis doesn't like to be studied closely.
He doesn't like to dredge up such explanations either. This one in particular is thorny, barbed with things Ellis is honor-bound not to speak aloud. And he knows instinctively that Richard will find the incomplete nature of the answer unfulfilling, and the impasse barring him from the rest to be a frustration.
Thot's purr vibrates under his fingers.
"I don't want this life for you," is as close as Ellis can get. It's shadowed with a particular truth: You're asking me to gamble with your life. There are many who do not survive the Joining, but that Ellis can never say.
It’s a start.
The edge to his intensity dials back by a matter of degrees, his thoughts turned inward from their attempted scorch through to the back of Ellis’ skull. Mind-reading would have made his entire ordeal here in Thedas markedly easier.
As is, he’s left to turn over the answer he’s been given in silence.
Brief silence.
“Why should my desire be secondary to yours?”
There may be a fang to stick on swaddled in the puffy gums of his careful neutrality. It's hard to tell. His curiosity for the answer is genuine.
The edge to his intensity dials back by a matter of degrees, his thoughts turned inward from their attempted scorch through to the back of Ellis’ skull. Mind-reading would have made his entire ordeal here in Thedas markedly easier.
As is, he’s left to turn over the answer he’s been given in silence.
Brief silence.
“Why should my desire be secondary to yours?”
There may be a fang to stick on swaddled in the puffy gums of his careful neutrality. It's hard to tell. His curiosity for the answer is genuine.
crystal sometime after his own limping return to Kirkwall; set it whenever you like
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
illithidnapped
2021-08-16 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Darling.
[In that oh-so-typical tone of we should talk.]
[In that oh-so-typical tone of we should talk.]
Ahah. So you are alive.
Call it something of a curiosity, that I felt the faintest little itch of wondering as to whether or not you'd survived the brunt of all that war.
Call it something of a curiosity, that I felt the faintest little itch of wondering as to whether or not you'd survived the brunt of all that war.
Pass. But give her my compliments if you see her next. You're not a bad hand to have around.
And as a matter of fact, I have. Which...I might also owe to having a little help along the way. [A healer's hands, spared warmth, shed blood, torn clothes— a set of talons clinging to the edges of his memory. All of it more than he'd expected to find.]
And as a matter of fact, I have. Which...I might also owe to having a little help along the way. [A healer's hands, spared warmth, shed blood, torn clothes— a set of talons clinging to the edges of his memory. All of it more than he'd expected to find.]
Oh, darling, I'm hurt. Is that all you think of my attempts to get your attention?
No wonder that poor girl has kept her feelings for you a secret all this time.
[A feathering little gasp. Oops.]
—oh dear, I've said too much.
No wonder that poor girl has kept her feelings for you a secret all this time.
[A feathering little gasp. Oops.]
—oh dear, I've said too much.
Because you don't know what you're asking invites questions Ellis won't answer, so that answer is discarded. Instead, Ellis leans an elbow on the table. His hand has stilled over Thot's belly. The scar curving up his neck is easily seen, instructive even, as Ellis counters—
"Suppose I asked you to take your knife, and cut my throat?"
Almost a joke: Ellis has considered a variation of that question not so long ago, and maybe had their conversation in the tent in Starkhaven gone differently—
But it hadn't. And now there is this question, a rebuttal that carries more weight than it should, because he's said more than he should to Richard in the course of their acquaintance.
"Suppose I asked you to take your knife, and cut my throat?"
Almost a joke: Ellis has considered a variation of that question not so long ago, and maybe had their conversation in the tent in Starkhaven gone differently—
But it hadn't. And now there is this question, a rebuttal that carries more weight than it should, because he's said more than he should to Richard in the course of their acquaintance.
All that time we spent alone together in the woods and you think I'm using you.
But now I’m starting to wonder. Has she mentioned it to you, yet? Adrasteia.
The way she blushes when she talks about you is....hm. [A soft, soft hum. Ever so thoughtful.] Poor thing’s been too shy to tell you, of course. You’ll go to her, won’t you? Because I know there’s a heart beating in that chest of yours. That you wouldn’t leave a sweet young creature floundering in the dark.
But now I’m starting to wonder. Has she mentioned it to you, yet? Adrasteia.
The way she blushes when she talks about you is....hm. [A soft, soft hum. Ever so thoughtful.] Poor thing’s been too shy to tell you, of course. You’ll go to her, won’t you? Because I know there’s a heart beating in that chest of yours. That you wouldn’t leave a sweet young creature floundering in the dark.
A reflexive hood hardens into his brow for the break of Ellis’ rebuttal over his nose. He is distinctly unappreciative, resistance tightened in behind his ears, his hands untangled for him to scuff his whiskers and fold his arms.
He sits back.
It’s an honest answer to his question. He’s forced to consider it as such -- fairly, and without the taint of disapproval that’s gone sharp through the lines around his eyes.
“If we had cause to believe cutting your throat could forestall a sweeping victory for Corypheus, I would consider it.”
He sits back.
It’s an honest answer to his question. He’s forced to consider it as such -- fairly, and without the taint of disapproval that’s gone sharp through the lines around his eyes.
“If we had cause to believe cutting your throat could forestall a sweeping victory for Corypheus, I would consider it.”
“If Tevinter continues to push the front and overtakes us, you won’t have the luxury of consideration. I’ll be killed in combat or captured and vivisected by the Venatori.”
Silence works, in this instance. He has plenty to say on the subject and still more that he skips neatly over with a drag at the corner of his mouth and a glance down between them -- trace evidence of a cruel thought discarded as unnecessary.
“You were not this bleak about my prospects when I asked you about it a year ago.”
Silence works, in this instance. He has plenty to say on the subject and still more that he skips neatly over with a drag at the corner of his mouth and a glance down between them -- trace evidence of a cruel thought discarded as unnecessary.
“You were not this bleak about my prospects when I asked you about it a year ago.”
Edited 2021-08-18 18:44 (UTC)
It's not meant as a cruel thing, perhaps, but it is a confirmation, a reminder, and it lands with the same kind of force as a crossbow bolt striking a target.
"If I had realized you would take it as invitation, I would have never said such a thing," Ellis tells him, voice flattening over the words.
What he would or would not have done doesn't matter. The chasm between his intentions and what comes of them is well known to him. Ellis had already learned this lesson, though it hasn't saved him from making the same mistakes.
"If I had realized you would take it as invitation, I would have never said such a thing," Ellis tells him, voice flattening over the words.
What he would or would not have done doesn't matter. The chasm between his intentions and what comes of them is well known to him. Ellis had already learned this lesson, though it hasn't saved him from making the same mistakes.
"Don’t give yourself too much credit. There is the Inquisitor’s message to consider," he raises his eyebrows to himself, matter-of-fact, "and I don’t think you cared for me much at the time."
He hadn’t fully imprinted, or whatever this attachment is.
Richard is quiet again. Just for a moment, to reorient himself away from the sidestep of this latest exchange.
"Is your fear just that I will die?"
He hadn’t fully imprinted, or whatever this attachment is.
Richard is quiet again. Just for a moment, to reorient himself away from the sidestep of this latest exchange.
"Is your fear just that I will die?"
Unkind.
I’m being gentle you know. Sweet, even. [Pay attention to him, please.]
And besides, it’s unbearably boring scraping the dust out of rotted floorboards— I swear it’s almost as if Kirkwall generates it as quickly as I displace it.
I’m not meant for this kind of work.
I’m being gentle you know. Sweet, even. [Pay attention to him, please.]
And besides, it’s unbearably boring scraping the dust out of rotted floorboards— I swear it’s almost as if Kirkwall generates it as quickly as I displace it.
I’m not meant for this kind of work.
[Hm.]
...that depends. Are there any miscreants about tonight?
Any dastardly villains in need of harsh handling?
...that depends. Are there any miscreants about tonight?
Any dastardly villains in need of harsh handling?
Sometimes I think we're completely incompatible, you and I.
...and then you go and say the most charming things.
[In other words: yes, Ellis, he'd be delighted to.]
My house is in Lowtown. Give me a few minutes to finish up with these wretched floorboards, and I'll be there quick as you can blink.
...and then you go and say the most charming things.
[In other words: yes, Ellis, he'd be delighted to.]
My house is in Lowtown. Give me a few minutes to finish up with these wretched floorboards, and I'll be there quick as you can blink.
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