heorte: (Default)
ellis ginsberg. ([personal profile] heorte) wrote2021-03-06 07:30 pm

when i go towards you it is with my whole life.







You came to the side of the bed
and sat staring at me.
Then you kissed me—I felt
hot wax on my forehead.
I wanted it to leave a mark:
that’s how I knew I loved you.
Because I wanted to be burned, stamped,
to have something in the end—
I drew the gown over my head;
a red flush covered my face and shoulders.
It will run its course, the course of fire,
setting a cold coin on the forehead, between the eyes.
You lay beside me; your hand moved over my face
as though you had felt it also-
you must have known, then, how I wanted you.
We will always know that, you and I.
The proof will be my body.
— louise glück
heirring: (rumpled and still superior)

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-10 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
"Nothing happened. Lady Paget was perfectly cordial," says that Lady Paget is a beast who has done something Wysteria will never forgive.

Between them, The Bag rumbles ominously.

"Indeed she was quite sympathetic to the state of Riftwatch's affairs. Particularly in the sense where I was representative of them."
heirring: ([033])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-10 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Her spare hand slaps the back of his. It's a small thing. Not delicate, just a brief crack like a snap of fingers. Stop that.

"She said nothing at all." And also, "I believe she doesn't care for my dress."

Thump, thump, says the bag as Ser Puncival pummels Ellis' hand from inside the canvas.
heirring: ([136])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-11 08:05 am (UTC)(link)
Lady Paget has fine taste. She has stood in the woman's house for several hours now, observing the wallpaper and the trimmings about windows and the weave of rugs and even the lady in question herself. No, she isn't perhaps not fashionable in the sense that there is no whiff of the Orlesian broadsheet stylings here in this old house, but there is an air of certainty throughout it and Wysteria is quite sure that more than makes up for the other.

But what is she to tell him? Merely that he's wrong? She might; instead, her jaw has clamped stubbornly shut, as if by refusing to address the topic further she might somehow delay her reintroduction despite the fact that she allows Ellis to fetch her up to her feet and can indeed be induced to go along with him though she is nothing is not conscious of the fact that her hem has been put all out of sorts.

"Truly, it's nothing," she says only a great deal of steps later. "It's hardly as if I came here for the Lady's approval. That wasn't my intention and that remains so."
heirring: ([120])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-15 08:00 am (UTC)(link)
She makes no further attempts to dissuade him as they go, but as they near the door to Lady Paget's drawing room (through which the dulcet tones of a harp being played at increasingly desperate volume can only be faintly detected beneath the insistent yowling of a very cross feline) she makes to wring her hand from his with a desperate little hiss of, "Mister Ellis."

It is one thing to be seen about the streets of Markham, or in Kirkwall, or by common people in little villages, or even in the Gallows itself which is so full to bursting with all manner of indiscretion that their dalliance hardly warrants remark. But it is another thing entirely to walk about a fine lady's house while all but shouting out every detail of how someone might find reason to disregard any scrap of respect for her that they might have contrived otherwise. And it is a different thing altogether, she thinks, when one means to stand up before someone and make an argument.

There is no reason at all to be seen as sentimental under such circumstances.
heirring: ([137])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-18 07:40 am (UTC)(link)
For an instant, Wysteria hesitates. Were she not actively in the middle of processing the demand, she might consider whether this is how victims of an execution feel right before they are marched to the wall and shot. In the moment however, she only has the ludicrous passing thought for how she owns the only gun in Thedas and for a little knot of embarrassment to cinch tight in her belly—not for Lady Paget, but for that brief ghost of a thing which had passed across Ellis' face—and then she steps through the door with her tattered skirt hem and the flush of mortification hot on the back of her neck.

The harpist stops playing.

"Lady Paget," she begins, and then must repeat herself more loudly to be heard over the din of the bagged cat. "Lady Paget, I believe you will be pleased to know—"

The woman on her divan makes an impatient little gesture with her hand. It effectively silences Wysteria with no more than an objecting croak.
heirring: ([088])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-21 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
The cat lands, as cats are wont to do, on all four of its murderous little paws. Ser Pounvical is a perfectly round orb of bristled fur standing all on end, yellow eyes turned fully black from the dilation of the animal's pupils. Wysteria, that half measure behind Ellis, cringes just faintly backward.

And then the cat totters forward on its ruffled limbs. In the seconds it requires Ser Pouncival to reach the divan, she has smoothed more of her fur down and has stopped walking like a hobbled horse, and is quite spry about jumping up onto the foot of the sofa near her mistress's slipper feet. There she sits, staring directly back at Ellis with shark-black eyes.

"There, you see. Simply done."

A look from the woman on the divan makes the harpist start, fingers tripping over themselves to resume their light tickling of the strings.
heirring: ([061])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-21 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
"Wysteria? Who is—?" Lady Paget's attention slides past Ellis' shoulder to Wysteria who has, if her own sense of the heat in her face is true, gone fundamentally scarlet in his shadow. "Oh yes of course. Miss Poppell, you might have introduced yourself so. It's a very charming little name."

"Be that as it may," Wysteria blurts out in an artificially pleasant tone. She has pasted on a smile where she stands at Ellis' elbow, all effected sunshine and good humor. Ha ha ha, yes what a hilarious misunderstanding. "I'm afraid the Warden speaks the truth. I was sent at the behest of his Commander to—to deliver new confidential orders. We must had East. Er. Confidentially."
heirring: ([088])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-21 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
It might be prudent under such circumstances to lower one's eyes and give the dense rug under one's feet a thorough study. Why look at the finely woven flowers and leaves; how elegant the pattern and color palette of the piece is; and so on and so forth, all in the pursuit of ignoring the fact that one is about to be utterly destroyed upon the point which they currently stand. Wysteria, halfway shielded by Ellis' elbow, does no such thing. She merely becomes a rigor mortis inflicted version of herself—smile baked on and eyes charmingly bright even as the flush of mortification rises higher up the back of her neck to lay ownership to the entirety of her scalp. The sum of her movement is to absently twitch back her skirts, as if the damage done to them might be concealed by doing so rather than underlined.

(Spoilers: it's the latter.)

With the animal grace of a predator, Lady Paget's attention swivels to one of the maids behind the divan.

"I trust something can be arranged for dressing Miss Poppell properly. The length of the hem will have to rise, of course."
heirring: ([035])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-22 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
Wysteria's attention, here, finally lowers to her hands before her. She has evidently been picking faintly at her nails and the cuticles now are a little worse for the wear thanks to the hard treatment. It is only prudent to gently shove the rest of them back in an attempt to tidy the look of the whole hand, and by then the conversation in the room has flowed along fully without her so that by the time Lady Paget says,

"Miss Poppell—"

She jumps. And blinks directly up at the woman on the divan. "Yes, your Ladyship?"

"I said do you have a preference of color, or shall I select something myself?"

"Oh." Then, promptly: "No, your Ladyship. I quite enjoy all of them. Colors, that is." A flickering glance toward Ellis reveals very little save that the back of his neck is a little flush, and then she realigns her attention once more to the the older woman draped across the furniture.

Lady Paget with her calculating eyes studies both of them. Then she turns to her cadre of maids and tells the shortest one, "Go along and prepare a second room for Miss Poppell. See that she's made comfortable and something suitable is provided, yes? And then I will see the both of you,"—her face tilts back to them—"At dinner."

How simple indeed.
heirring: ([133])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-22 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
She is, in fact, not inclined. And so the next time they see one another, it is while they are being shown to Lady Paget's dining room. The dress which she has selected is a pretty dark lavender, and not at all in keeping with her usual colors or style. It has pretty little petal-shaped details at the sleeves and along the bodice, and in deference to the occasion of taking a fine meal in a fine house, Wysteria has dispensed with the high collared shirt she wears so frequently. The dress is also, objectively speaking, far nice than the one mauled by Ser Pouncival. But at dinner, Lady Paget is all brisk albeit a little backhanded approval—'Oh, very good Miss Poppell. I'm pleased to see you have good taste after all. Oh, what a dreadful scar,' and so on, all said in the kindest tones so as to make it fully impossible to tell whether she is being genuine or just every so faintly cruel.

Wysteria supposes that it's very possible to do both at all once, and throughout the dinner she is all sunshine and good cheer: bright polite humor, and laughter and smiles, sweetness and air and light fit to please any lady and very unpleasantly feigned for anyone more familiar with Wysteria's patter and typical level of exuberance. To an untrained eye, she is in high spirits. To a trained one, she is a picture of misery as they make their way through dinner, and then through an hour in the drawing room where Wysteria must beg not to be given the opportunity to delight them on the harpsichord (for her playing is very bad), and even during the short walk back to their rooms.

Have you ever had an evening go so uniformly poorly?

And then, not ten minutes after their respective doors have closed behind them: a delicate tap-tap-tap at the balcony door which leads into Ellis' room.
heirring: ([061])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-22 06:25 am (UTC)(link)
If she is caught off guard by the instantaneous opening of the door, all that it means is that Wysteria hesitates long enough to be effectively drawn in across the threshold and pulled in close to him.

There in that narrow little space against his shoulder she says, "Oh, what a hateful woman," with real vehemence. "I have never disliked someone so thoroughly. I hope that terrible creature she calls a cat scratches her somewhere delicate."

It's a very uncharitable assessment of a woman who has quite literally fed, clothed, and boarded her with no advance warning. And yet, she is in a uniquely uncharitable mood all bristling and hot with temper in the net of Ellis' hold on her.
heirring: ([009])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-09-23 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
Here, she draws abruptly back—not free of him or the loop of his arms, but certainly far enough to give him an interrogative look. So much for put on cheer or miserable silences.

"You're very cool about the thing. Don't pretend you weren't cross with her when we earlier stood in her drawing room."

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clenches my fist

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yells about it tbh

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outrageous but yeah tbh

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