heorte: (Default)
ellis ginsberg. ([personal profile] heorte) wrote2021-03-06 07:30 pm

when i go towards you it is with my whole life.







You came to the side of the bed
and sat staring at me.
Then you kissed me—I felt
hot wax on my forehead.
I wanted it to leave a mark:
that’s how I knew I loved you.
Because I wanted to be burned, stamped,
to have something in the end—
I drew the gown over my head;
a red flush covered my face and shoulders.
It will run its course, the course of fire,
setting a cold coin on the forehead, between the eyes.
You lay beside me; your hand moved over my face
as though you had felt it also-
you must have known, then, how I wanted you.
We will always know that, you and I.
The proof will be my body.
— louise glück
heirring: ([073])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-20 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
There at his cheek and jaw, her nails rasp softly across the bristle of his beard. It's a slow scrape—not patient, just intent. A more focused placeholder as the point of her gaze flickers from the look in Ellis's face, to her thumb pressed across his lower lip against the shape of what he can't say waiting on his tongue, toward that gentle pinch of his fingers, and then fleeting restlessly back again. How is she meant to keep from splitting her attention? There is a real desire to memorize all the details even as the slow shift of his fingers muddy them—

With a soft sigh, Wysteria draws the pad of her thumb back across his teeth to press less gently again at his lower lip. Without her realizing, her hand has wandered from his elbow to Ellis's bicep. The clench of her knees has begun to give again, gently opening herself to his study.

"And when you want to kiss me. I like that too. Before you make yourself stop."
heirring: ([133])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-21 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Her "Ellis," before he kisses her is soft and, despite her being flustered, clearly tinged with fond humor. If it weren't for the press of his fingers, there might be some risk of her laughing against the soft shape of his mouth—not because it's funny, but because it's sweet and kind and pleases her.

Instead, the sound she makes is more gentle and aching. Her mouth opens willingly under his without much prompting at all and while the slide of her hand from shoulder to neck is less than graceful, the quality of her sighing little kiss remains delicate. Either she's more patient than anticipated or she's distracted by the circular press of his thumb.

The faintest way she twitches up into his hand suggests it's the second one.
heirring: ([006])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-21 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
Slowly, impulsively, she sinks her fingers into his dark curls and makes to hold him to her. It's hardly necessary. He will kiss her, at once wanting and methodical, even if she doesn't steady him against her—

The sound she makes into his mouth is high and light, pressed out of her by the shape of his hands. It's tangled up in his kisses and the absent searching of her tongue, and it comes again a second time in answer to Ellis's hand across her breast or the pressure of his thumb.

"Ellis," is snatched between the punctuation of his mouth. Her whole body is warm. "Ellis. What you like." Her fingers press. "Please tell me."
heirring: ([029])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-21 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Take, for example, this nearly unconscious shift of one of her hands to cover his where it's moved up across the flushed pink skin below her collarbones. Her other fingers remain tangled in his hair, not pulling but present. This one however tightens softly over his as if to gently pin it to the warm skin where her pulse is thudding. The echo of the soft gasp she'd made in answer to that first real drive of his fingers is still humming in her chest.

That's good, because those are things that would be very difficult not to do, she doesn't say. Instead she kisses him again. It's open and warm and hitches appreciatively under the pressure of his thumb.

"Ellis—" When sighed into his mouth, it sounds like little more than approval and wanting him rather than the precursor to a half formed thought that it is. Given the present course of his hand between her legs, Wysteria is sluggish to assemble the rest. Just its outline is enough to make her face feel very hot.

"Please." The flexing angle of her hip as if she might coax some further stroke of his hand is at least partly intentional. "Would you—do that again."
heirring: ([006])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-22 09:24 am (UTC)(link)
There is an instinct to this or at least an abundance of desire masquerading as such. If Ellis' hand pressed between her legs finds a rhythm, then she's chased clumsily after it—hips hitching in tentative or reactive shapes toward the slick press of his fingers, and her knees softly falling further open against the limitations of her chemise's raised hem.

Does she like this?

The fingers in his chair flex and tighten automatically. "Yes," is all exhale, the shape of it hot under the edge of her teeth. She squeezes his hand with her own. Yes, she likes being on her back in his shadow, and how carefully he is doing as she has asked him to. And she likes the rasping edge in his quiet voice and the flat span of his palm and the faint tremor that passed through her from under his thumb.

"Yes, I do." And less structured again, 'Yes,' pressed into his open mouth with her tongue, the formation of it more moan than not. She's warm all over, and is very aware both of the steady shape of his fingers and also how much simpler their slide into her is becoming—

Something in that thought quickens her pulse and her breathing. Once noted, it's impossible to fully dismiss. Instead the awareness of it sharpens, lodging behind her ribs and growing there. Her hand on his tightens. There's something equal parts reflexive and intent in how she moves his hand back to her breast and uses the press of her fingers and the coaxing of her palm to urge him back into feeling her there.
heirring: ([133])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-22 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Later, she will reward one of Ellis's innocuous remarks with 'Keep telling me,' and laugh at him and at herself and then maybe tease him about some secret vanity. Honestly, Ellis. Where does this habit of fishing for compliments come from?

But obviously that isn't the point. It's even less the point in the moment when she answers him first with a desperate little cry and a squeeze at his wrist where his hand moves over her breast. She can feel the tingling pressure of that hard kiss on her mouth still. And some matching sensation winding tight even in counterpoint to the way her body gives.

"Ellis, please. Kiss me again."

Is really like asking for permission, as Wysteria draws him down those scant degrees by her hand in his hair. She kisses him as fiercely as she can manage, and after demands that he linger so she can cry softly against the corner of his mouth or past his teeth, 'It's good. Please, like that,' until the cant of her breathing swells suddenly sharper.

For a close moment, a ragged breath or two or maybe for the span of time it takes for him to pull back and press back into her or for his thumb to apply the right pressure, she is very keen on just the sensation of his fingers in and on her. The way she arches under him in orgasm is almost absurdly pronounced—an involuntary thrust against both his hands, head thrown back far enough that it exposes the full line of her throat and all but buries Wysteria's face in the pillow and the wild tangle of her loose hair.
heirring: ([006])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-23 05:24 pm (UTC)(link)
She is slow to collect herself, her hands on him either slipping uselessly to the side or sliding to the nape of his neck where she might apply some fleeting and gentle and entirely unconsidered pressure in response to the heat of his mouth thrilling absently under the broader buzz humming through her. The loss of his fingers may have prompted a short aching sound, but his weight on her is so reassuringly gratifying that she shivers when Ellis applies it. There is sweat prickling under her chemise. Heat radiates from the bedclothes. The soft sounds of his mouth on her skin hang pleasantly in her ear.

With a motion that is half clumsy and half just languid, Wysteria brushes the hair from her face. That flush is still very high in her cheeks when she looks at him. If he doesn't kiss her directly soon then she will have to ask him to.

"See. Your hands are very nice."
heirring: ([119])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-23 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
There.

That's what she'd wanted from him—the pleasant abruptness of the kiss. It's slowness and him eager behind it. She is fully amenable to melting under it, draping an arms about his shoulders and leaving it there even after the kiss has broken off. She is all loose jointed and he is lovely in his heaviness. Wysteria presses a further kiss to his temple and indolent fingers card through his dark hair.

In rare form, she feels almost no immediate urge to say much of anything. It's very sweet to simply lay under him and press close her face. His beard rasping at her neck is pleasantly coarse. But eventually, inevitably, Wysteria finds her words again.

In the middle of the loosely defined net of her arms and the tangle of her air and the soft gusts of her breathing, Wysteria noses against his hair line. "Ellis," is excruciatingly fond. She can feel it in her chest. "I know I'm a very poor student, but you must swear to me that you'll tell me how I ought to touch you."
heirring: ([084])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-24 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
It tickles, that low rumble, and the contents themselves must satisfy her for Wysteria promptly presses another little kiss to his hairline.

"Aye," is all pitched imitation.

Maybe in the not so distant future, she will dislodge him from between her legs and ask that he put her shift back to rights. But for the moment the lazy motion of her hand through his hair continues in soft, impartial turns. Here and there, a curl is caught and twisted gently between her fingertips—

"I love you," she says. "You're so very sweet to me."
heirring: ([091])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-30 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
The idle motion of her hand quiets. Wysteria lowers her chin by a half degree as if to look at him, though they're too closely aligned to accomplish much in the way of it beyond briefly setting her mouth and nose against the top of his forehead—

"What sort of something?"

Though she has already raised her free hand to blindly reach after him, searching out the waist of his trousers by feel. His right, or her right?, she struggles to remember even as she slides her hand into his pocket. His right. Here is the little pouch at her fingertips.

Wysteria closes her hand around it, but doesn't withdraw either.
heirring: ([090])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-30 07:31 am (UTC)(link)
The brief pressure of his weight prompts an absent shifting, a gentle and almost assuredly unconscious squeeze of her knees.

"I like all the things you've given me." That's true. Even the things she's had little practical use for, like that forearm guard for archery. It had been very prettily made.

With her mouth still close at the to of Ellis's forehead, Wysteria draws free the little velvet pouch. To hold it up where she can see it requires untangling her fingers from his hair so she might turn the small satchel about in her fingers and examine it's shape just there above the crown of his curls. She presses with her thumbs to feel out the shape of its contents.
heirring: ([110])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-31 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
She's careful about slipping the ring from the little satchel, laying the latter on his shoulder because it's conveniently placed to act as a table top to her. Between her thumb and forefinger of her other hand, Wysteria holds the slim band up for inspection at an angle where the light from the nearby lamp might play on it.

"Oh good," is her nearly immediate assessment, quite genuinely put. "I was worried you might look for something more ostentatious or with sharp little edges or a raised stone, and then I would have had to beg you to find me something to be simply worn about. But I can put this on my finger and wear it under my gloves."

And out into the field or wherever she might like. Something more delicate would have to be taken off for her work, or hung on a chain about her neck or—

She tips her face to look at him. Her knees clamp gently about him once more.

"Would you care to put it on my finger?"

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