when i go towards you it is with my whole life.
![]() | You came to the side of the bed and sat staring at me. Then you kissed me—I felt hot wax on my forehead. I wanted it to leave a mark: that’s how I knew I loved you. Because I wanted to be burned, stamped, to have something in the end— I drew the gown over my head; a red flush covered my face and shoulders. It will run its course, the course of fire, setting a cold coin on the forehead, between the eyes. You lay beside me; your hand moved over my face as though you had felt it also- you must have known, then, how I wanted you. We will always know that, you and I. The proof will be my body. — louise glück |


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The cold fixture of her expression slips just a little, corner of her mouth twitching toward a laugh that she channels instead squeezing his hand as they integrate themselves into the new set of dancers on the floor.
She will only have another drink or two, Wysteria decides, as she must keep her wits about her and make the most use of this leverage he has gifted her.
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"Of course," he agrees, no hesitation over the assurance because he'd meant what he'd said to her. All of those things were easily promised. Wysteria had claim on more than that, even if she'd yet to realize the full extent of it.
No endearment yet. It will come to him.
The second reel is set to a lighter tune, involves more trading away of partners than the first. Ellis trades Wysteria for a student with ink-stained fingertips who he trades for a tall woman in bright silks and so on and so on, faces blurring together and one eye always on Wysteria's progress around the assembly until the drum-beat brings them back together in time for the ending of the song.
His fingers lace through hers, fond stroke of his thumb hidden by the position of their hands. Ellis keeps a polite distance between them as he questions, "Another?"
Not the end of the evening, but checking that she's still keen to dance, rather than hoping to sit for a moment and catch her breath.
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No, when they return to their lodgings she will almost certainly prosecute him to the full extent of her abilities.
When the song ends—punctuated by a fiddle flourish and an excitable drumroll—only to immediate transition into yet another rollicking song, Wysteria groans in good natured defeat.
"You know, I suspect it might be the only pace at which they know how to play."
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It stands to reason they'll do at least one waltz. Perhaps when the hour grows later, and the exuberance of the patrons wears down, grows less receptive to the speeding thud of the drum urging them on. Ellis frequents a very different kind of establishment when he's on the road, but he can't imagine the habits of both dancers and musicians are any different.
His hand spreads across her back, just beneath her shoulder blades.
"Go there, by the open doors. I'll meet you after I've gotten something for us to drink."
Which turns out to be two cups, one water, and one of the same beer she'd brought out to him earlier. He weaves from far side of the bar through the impatiently waiting would-be drinkers and the spillover of dancers bouncing off the dance floor to return to her, assuming to find her more or less where he'd propelled her to.
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In the minutes it's taken Ellis to fetch a pair of drinks, some sandy haired young man who must be—if the cut of his coat is any indication—a student has engaged her in conversation. They are chattering along, in good spirits. He says something. She laughs, bright as a bell and—
"Oh Mister Ellis!" She sways forward, extending a hand as if to draw him in with it. "Serrah Walden was just complimenting our turn on the dance floor. Isn't that right?"
Serrah Walden, who is slightly narrow in every direction but quite tall to make up for it, lifts his cup and after a moment smiles politely in greeting. "So I was."
Wysteria takes the cup of beer with cheery thanks, and takes an appreciative drink from it.
"Mister Walden was saying he is a rather poor dancer himself, and that he always desired to learn otherwise. Shall I lend you my Mister Ellis, sir? He is a perfectly fit teacher."
They laugh again then, Walden's wandering eye clearly in pursuit of an exit strategy.
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He made Wysteria laugh. That's noted too.
Her hands draw him in, and Ellis comes to a halt closer than he needs to be. It's a different kind of close than the way he sometimes stands with her, alert to incoming threats and the need to step quickly between her and an incoming knife. This is some quiet familiarity, maybe an easier missed signal than Ellis' first instincts would have been (a hand at her elbow, set gently at the nape of her neck) but there's no need to make Wysteria uncomfortable.
"I'm at her service," Ellis tells him, eyes very steady on Walden. A beat of scrutiny resolves as he raises the remaining cup and says to Wysteria, "I've water as well," in the same breath as his head turns to her, gaze breaking from his study of their newfound acquaintance.
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"I wouldn't dare impose on your lady's generosity then," Walden insists. The man has a charming smile, quick and lopsided. His attention flicks from Ellis to Wysteria— "Though should your Mister Ellis tire and you find yourself at loose ends..."
He smile flexes, almost apologetic. Wysteria, stood in very close to Ellis' elbow (or vice versa) laughs in reply.
"I will take it under consideration, sir. But it is quite against his character. Isn't that so, Mister Ellis?"
She tips her face up to him, the line of her mouth quirking wide.
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It's not lost on him that Walden might be perfectly nice. Maybe even better suited than he is for Wysteria. The hot burn of that knowledge flares up in the back of his head, smolders as he looks back to Walden.
"Aye, it is."
Delivered seriously, or at least, in a staid enough manner to be exaggerated by the environment they're standing in. He wonders just what it is Walden studies, whether or not it's something that would hold Wysteria's attention.
"But it's early yet. I shouldn't rule out the possibility," he allows, more for Wysteria's benefit than Walden's. Maybe Wysteria wants to dance with someone else. Ellis isn't going to warn off her prospects any more than he already has done.
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"As the gentleman said. I will fetch you should I find myself without a partner, sir."
She takes a drink of beer all but through her smiling teeth. And in reply Mister Walden flicks a glance between them, adopts his most courteous smile and tips his head. He must be a clever kind, to recognize both a dismissal and an opening so long as he doesn't press.
"Of course. I'll be just there loitering should you need me. Miss Poppell." He nods to Ellis. "Mister Ellis."
And then Mister Walden, he of superior height, is gone. Wysteria's smile lingers for a half beat before being ruthlessly stripped away. She looks to Ellis, something fiery in the point of her attention.
"Really, Mister Ellis."
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His eyebrows raise, questioning.
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She takes a swig from her cup, shooting a glance in the general direction which Mister Walden had disappeared in, and then pivots back toward Ellis with the faintest realignment of the angle of her shoulders.
"Never mind it. I know you meant nothing by it. Or that it is only a difference between Thedas and other places."
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But that's speaking in the very literal sense of the word, not necessarily the same as what Wysteria means now.
The pause that comes after, filled with the stomp of boots on floorboards and someone shouting in time to the thudding of the drum, is space for Ellis to study her face.
Untangling the impulse to step aside is a complicated task. It's likely not meant to be done in a venue like this, if it's done at all.
"You wouldn't have been insulted if I'd been more forceful with him?" is a complicated question too. Or it feels complicated to Ellis, in the moment.
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"Well." Maybe. she might have bristled just a little. But perhaps only in the moment. "I hardly expect you to drop everything to drag the man out and fight him in the yard. But a firm word," she resolves. "No, I don't believe that would have been amiss. Unless you truly have no preference on the subject."
She glances back up at him and frowns to cover some spark of embarrassment.
"But I should hope that you do."
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His hand shifts along the side of the cup, grip breaking to reach for her wrist and skim his fingers along the back of her hand.
"But I trust your decisions."
A truer sentence: I trust you.
"And I wouldn't begrudge you a dance with someone else, so long as you dance the rest of them with me."
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With a secondary prim sniff, she drinks further from her cup.
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"Do you think the musicians can be bribed?" he asks instead. What he'd like to ask is if she'd care to go back to their rooms. Her room, his room. The specifics of it don't matter. It's only for the pleasure of being able to touch her without checking himself, and maybe kissing her, just once, before they sleep. But it's early, and Ellis knows without asking that Wysteria intends to dance more.
And so, the consideration of a bribe. Or at least, a heartfelt request from a man whose sweetheart would prefer not to dance another reel just yet.
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"The question is only how high their price is, and how many people before you had the idea and have beaten you to making requests."
Wysteria looks to him, holds his gaze for a moment, and then pointedly drops her attention to where she has tucked her spare hand between the small of her back and the wall. Her fingertips are just there, waggling invitingly. Well. If he should care to touch her hand, there are ways to be discreet—
And then her attention drifts back toward the dance floor, the assembly in the hall, and musicians and the dust drifting down from the rafters.
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"I should have made my demands when we first arrived."
His thumb runs gently over her knuckles as he looks away from her to study the musicians. Which of them would be the better prospect? The fiddler's tunic is very fine, so perhaps he's the sort who needs the extra coin more than his partner.
"I'll know better next time," Ellis says, though he should point out, "It's easier, when it's Bastien we're asking."
More like: it's easier when they're dealing with people who know to be intimidated by Wysteria already.
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"That is because Bastien is remarkably weak for all things that have even the veneer of romance. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a great collection of cheap novels on the subject. --Oh," she says, as if the following thought is only in this moment occurring to her. She laughs. "I hope that's what he used to print with his press. That would be very charming. And a little funny. Anyway, you can hardly be blamed for falling behind. Who could have guessed that Markham has such an aversion to anything slower than the pace of a sprint."
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"When you were last here, was it like this all night? A sprint?"
As he speaks, Ellis' fingers leave her hand to settle at the small of her back. His eyes never leave her face as his hand splays carefully outward, palm flattening across the fabric.
He'd dance more with her if she wanted, waltz or not. But he wishes again for a quieter place, even if he's warmed to the charm of this lively tavern.
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Her own hand has shifted too, settling lightly against his. The angle is not wholly natural, and so the absent scuff of her thumb along the joint of one of his forefingers is light but not unintentional.
"But if it is going to be like this all evening, I'm not sure I've really the energy for it. We were up at such an early hour."
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"Are you hungry?" is not quite the question Ellis wants to ask her. But it's close, within arm's reach of Would you like to leave now?
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"Are you?"
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And it had seemed quiet, the kind of establishment with a devoted clientele and little excitement beyond that. Maybe there would be a little music. They had to walk back that way regardless, and he wants—
Nothing resolves into one clear thing. He can feel the warmth of her through the fabric and it muddles his thought process.
Ellis tacks on "If you aren't too tired," a little absently, a concession the little game they're playing.
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"Well, it sounds as if you've decided. I shall hardly argue with you, Mister Ellis. We've nearly a whole week of evenings to fill before us. I imagine there will be other opportunities for all sorts of dancing."
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picks this icon, lols
good work being prepared for this specific scenario
thanks im an artiste
i've been in the presence of greatness all this time, geez
whatever i see these bespoke suspenders icons
look
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