when i go towards you it is with my whole life.
![]() | You came to the side of the bed and sat staring at me. Then you kissed me—I felt hot wax on my forehead. I wanted it to leave a mark: that’s how I knew I loved you. Because I wanted to be burned, stamped, to have something in the end— I drew the gown over my head; a red flush covered my face and shoulders. It will run its course, the course of fire, setting a cold coin on the forehead, between the eyes. You lay beside me; your hand moved over my face as though you had felt it also- you must have known, then, how I wanted you. We will always know that, you and I. The proof will be my body. — louise glück |


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"Oh."
There is blood beading in Ellis' beard. Wysteria reaches out, but doesn't touch him. Her hand instead dances around the prospect of touching his face and then falls away. She looks down to regard the thing trapped between them.
"Perhaps this will win you your freedom."
A special dispensation for dangerous services rendered, surely.
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"Perhaps I should bargain with her for a new dress for you," is not a vote against Wysteria's ability to repair the garment. (Or Ellis', if it comes to that.) But more a sense of how much is at the Lady Paget's fingertips and that perhaps some of that largesse should be parceled out to Wysteria.
The collection of scrapes have not drawn his attention. Wysteria's faltering hand is caught up again.
"I'll be sure to explain to her how you captured her pet."
In glowing yet delicate terms, surely. Ellis has yet to work out whether or not he might present the bundle to Lady Paget or if he will have to find a way to extract the cat for presentation.
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"I have no need of the Lady of the house's charity. I am perfectly capable of doing my own mending. And furthermore"—has the sound of a thing spinning up toward full speed; a great monologue's threatening presence rising over the horizon. "If we are to broker for your freedom, it seems prudent to give you all the credit. Particularly when you were wounded in the process. In fact, I should like no part of this attributed to me including that mark I have left on your cheek. You may say it was Pouncival, and we will hope that it elicits some further sympathy from the Lady."
She will be damned if she accepts some garment from the woman who deemed her wardrobe so lackluster.
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Tempting fate, Ellis puts his free hand on the squirming, venomous bundle as if that might quiet Pouncival and leave him in a far better position to parse Wysteria. (It does not quite Pouncival. It does inspire some lashing movement within the wrappings, that does not dislodge Ellis' hand.)
"I thought you'd like a new dress," is said slowly. Ellis has the sense the dress is not necessarily the objectionable part of all this.
He turns her hand over in his own, examining for traces of blood as he continues, "Or to have some recognition for helping me accomplish what I'd spent most of the morning failing at."
Eventually, if prompted, Wysteria will come out with the heart of the grievance. Or so Ellis assumes.
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Wysteria's attention flicks to the thrashing lump under his hand. She makes then to extract her fingers from his examination as if this will close the topic to all further debate or inquiry.
"Come now. Where must Ser Pouncival go now that you've successfully apprehended him?"
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Ellis might say this. A straightforward answer, to be buffered by the query of whether Wysteria should like to accompany him in, or if she would like to retire to the suite of rooms Ellis has been allotted to wait for him there.
Instead, his hand tightens around hers to stall against escape as he asks, "Did Lady Paget offend you?"
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"No, don't be ridiculous," sounds Yes, she's dreadful.
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"Tell me what happened," is very tender, considering the murderous snarling from the makeshift trap sitting between them.
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Between them, The Bag rumbles ominously.
"Indeed she was quite sympathetic to the state of Riftwatch's affairs. Particularly in the sense where I was representative of them."
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If he could, he would put a kiss to her palm. As it stands, his thumb draws lightly across her knuckles in familiar motion as he studies her.
"What did she say?"
No sympathies had been expressed in Ellis' hearing, but is that such a surprise? Their conversations had tended towards other matters, such as the crates in the attic that must be relocated or the creaking hinges on the doors leading out to the veranda.
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"She said nothing at all." And also, "I believe she doesn't care for my dress."
Thump, thump, says the bag as Ser Puncival pummels Ellis' hand from inside the canvas.
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There are too many layers of cloth between Ser Pouncival and Ellis' palm, but the determined prick of claws makes a ghostly impression. Ellis lifts his eyes to Wysteria, eyebrows raised for the slap of her hand, and then draws her up with him.
"Lady Paget has bad taste."
How much weight does such a declaration carry when made by Ellis, who knows next to nothing about what is and isn't good taste? (Maybe a good amount of weight, considering the majority of what he hears regarding good taste comes from Wysteria.) He keeps his hold on her hand even as he bends to lift the bag containing the loudly objecting cat.
"Come with me."
Presumably to deliver the cat.
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But what is she to tell him? Merely that he's wrong? She might; instead, her jaw has clamped stubbornly shut, as if by refusing to address the topic further she might somehow delay her reintroduction despite the fact that she allows Ellis to fetch her up to her feet and can indeed be induced to go along with him though she is nothing is not conscious of the fact that her hem has been put all out of sorts.
"Truly, it's nothing," she says only a great deal of steps later. "It's hardly as if I came here for the Lady's approval. That wasn't my intention and that remains so."
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Not if it's weighing on her this way, though Ellis isn't entirely sure how best to put it to rights. Or if it's something he can have any hand in amending.
"You'll help me barter my way out, and I'll see you fairly compensated for the insult," only seems like an easy prospect. It's far beyond his realm of expertise, admittedly, but he intends to attempt something.
He keeps their hand links through the entire march down to the drawing room. The trek is underscored entirely by Pouncival's increasingly furious yowling. The bag doesn't do much of anything to stifle the sound so surely the occupants of the drawing room must hear them coming, harp or no harp.
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It is one thing to be seen about the streets of Markham, or in Kirkwall, or by common people in little villages, or even in the Gallows itself which is so full to bursting with all manner of indiscretion that their dalliance hardly warrants remark. But it is another thing entirely to walk about a fine lady's house while all but shouting out every detail of how someone might find reason to disregard any scrap of respect for her that they might have contrived otherwise. And it is a different thing altogether, she thinks, when one means to stand up before someone and make an argument.
There is no reason at all to be seen as sentimental under such circumstances.
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He has never contrived to keep hold of her when she has expressed any objection to it.
And so the beat of acknowledgement passes just outside the door, with the bag in Ellis' hands rippling under Ser Pouncival's increasingly desperate bid for freedom. Whatever might be said is cut off by a sharp, impatient voice—
"Don't just stand out there, come in."
The harp's tempo wavers uncertainly, and maybe a little despairingly at the source of such noise drawing closer.
Ellis tips his head to Wysteria, and nudges open one drawing room door to allow her to pass by him.
Quite a display of manners, considering Ellis is with one hand containing a violently objecting cat in a sack.
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The harpist stops playing.
"Lady Paget," she begins, and then must repeat herself more loudly to be heard over the din of the bagged cat. "Lady Paget, I believe you will be pleased to know—"
The woman on her divan makes an impatient little gesture with her hand. It effectively silences Wysteria with no more than an objecting croak.
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In perfect unison, the three maids hovering around Lady Paget's divan take several graceful steps backwards.
"Oh, for pity's sake," Lady Paget says. Or possibly says. She has not extended the effort to raise her voice, so Pouncival's outrage more or less muffles his owner. "Ellis, please, simply put her down. There's no need for such a production."
It's surely only Wysteria who catches the minor flicker of irritation. They're a matched set in that moment, with a flush of temper creeping up from beneath Ellis' collar. Whether or not she caught his expression, this uncontrollable sign of temper is visible to her regardless, as Ellis takes an angled step forward to position himself slightly in front of Wysteria before turning the cat out.
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And then the cat totters forward on its ruffled limbs. In the seconds it requires Ser Pouncival to reach the divan, she has smoothed more of her fur down and has stopped walking like a hobbled horse, and is quite spry about jumping up onto the foot of the sofa near her mistress's slipper feet. There she sits, staring directly back at Ellis with shark-black eyes.
"There, you see. Simply done."
A look from the woman on the divan makes the harpist start, fingers tripping over themselves to resume their light tickling of the strings.
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His arm drops. He glances back to Wysteria, reassuring himself of her, before turning to incline his head to Lady Paget.
"Aye, nicely done."
Delicately. What use is there in questioning the phenomenon, or raising the point that Lady Paget might have accomplished this for herself easier than Ellis might have. He clears his throat, as the harpist settles back into the interrupted melody.
"My lady, Wysteria has brought word from my Commander that I'm needed, very urgently," he continues on smoothly. "So I must depart with her in the morning."
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"Be that as it may," Wysteria blurts out in an artificially pleasant tone. She has pasted on a smile where she stands at Ellis' elbow, all effected sunshine and good humor. Ha ha ha, yes what a hilarious misunderstanding. "I'm afraid the Warden speaks the truth. I was sent at the behest of his Commander to—to deliver new confidential orders. We must had East. Er. Confidentially."
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"Confidentially."
Each syllable drawn out in cool tones. Behind her, the three maids exchange looks. Ellis straightens, squaring his shoulders in unconscious recognition of approaching danger.
"I've taken advantage of your kindness long enough, Lady Paget. If I stay much longer, it will be impossible for me to leave."
Flattery is not exactly Ellis' forte. But it is the nearest to it he can get while remaining truthful. After all, it has grown near impossible to leave. He continues on briskly: "If you'll indulge me just a little longer, I'd ask that you spare us rooms for one last night, and a replacement for my—associate's garment, we will be on our way at first light."
The barest trip over identifier. But the sting of Wysteria's slap had been instructive enough. Ellis refrains from any overt declarations while Lady Paget's pursed lips grow more pronounced as she examines them.
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(Spoilers: it's the latter.)
With the animal grace of a predator, Lady Paget's attention swivels to one of the maids behind the divan.
"I trust something can be arranged for dressing Miss Poppell properly. The length of the hem will have to rise, of course."
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But he is aware that he is outclassed in this arena. It is much like standing in a room full of traps, and trying to decide whether he would rather be blasted off his feet or bludgeoned by something heavy.
Nevertheless, he has come this far in the conversation. A brief sidelong look gleans nothing, and he cannot reach for Wysteria, despite wishing to, so—
"Lady Paget, I could only ask that you give us the equal of what she's lost in our pursuit of your companion."
To his credit, Ellis spares only a single, narrowed glance towards the cat. The sentiment is perhaps mutual, as he receives a baleful look in return.
"I have told her of how kind you've been to me during my stay," is a very careful prompt. "That should extend to my fellows, aye?"
Kindness is only slightly pointed. But still, it is a deliberate reminder. On her divan, the lady herself sighs over it. The cat affects the sort of yawn that bares far too many teeth to be innocent.
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"Miss Poppell—"
She jumps. And blinks directly up at the woman on the divan. "Yes, your Ladyship?"
"I said do you have a preference of color, or shall I select something myself?"
"Oh." Then, promptly: "No, your Ladyship. I quite enjoy all of them. Colors, that is." A flickering glance toward Ellis reveals very little save that the back of his neck is a little flush, and then she realigns her attention once more to the the older woman draped across the furniture.
Lady Paget with her calculating eyes studies both of them. Then she turns to her cadre of maids and tells the shortest one, "Go along and prepare a second room for Miss Poppell. See that she's made comfortable and something suitable is provided, yes? And then I will see the both of you,"—her face tilts back to them—"At dinner."
How simple indeed.
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hey what the fuck
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clenches my fist
hey they're Good
yells about it tbh
honestly
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clenches fist so tightly
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is this thread bow-ready i ask
outrageous but yeah tbh