heorte: (Default)
ellis ginsberg. ([personal profile] heorte) wrote2021-03-06 07:30 pm

when i go towards you it is with my whole life.







You came to the side of the bed
and sat staring at me.
Then you kissed me—I felt
hot wax on my forehead.
I wanted it to leave a mark:
that’s how I knew I loved you.
Because I wanted to be burned, stamped,
to have something in the end—
I drew the gown over my head;
a red flush covered my face and shoulders.
It will run its course, the course of fire,
setting a cold coin on the forehead, between the eyes.
You lay beside me; your hand moved over my face
as though you had felt it also-
you must have known, then, how I wanted you.
We will always know that, you and I.
The proof will be my body.
— louise glück
heirring: ([089])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-14 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
So it is.

With him caught between her hands, Wysteria straightens just slightly so she might survey him there. It's good humor masquerading as highly serious study; there is a spark in her pale eyes and a laugh lurking at the corner of her mouth and neither of them are well disguised by the furrow of her brow.

"How would you like me to kiss you? —And don't," she hastens to say. "Say something like 'However you like, Wysteria.' That would be a very poor answer, Mister Ellis, and not at all in keeping with the spirit of the game."
heirring: ([064])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-14 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
The wrinkle between her brows deepens, and for a moment as he shifts to shed his gambeson the frown she wears is real and this lay of her fingers in his hair is— Well, it would be inconsiderate to give him a little checking tug there at his temples, and so she doesn't do that. But the twitch of Wysteria's fingers suggests the impulse is very real.

"I'll make do with that," sounds very like how a scolding slap at the back of his knuckles might.
heirring: ([037])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-14 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
"It's not my turn," is a prim reincorcement of the rules they have been delicately bending for quite some time. But here she is, insistent.

"You will just have to come up with something."
heirring: ([099])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-14 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
She opens her mouth to reply, an answer clearly ready just there behind her teeth— and then she stops herself, the sound of it like a breath split in half. She closes her mouth. Purses her lips. After a moment of consideration, Wysteria adjusts the line if her calf in that narrow space between them and shifts her boot out from under the shadow of the chair. She prods his knee with the shoe's toe.

"The other boot if you please, Mister Ellis," says says, drawing her hands from his face. It's a very petty sort of revenge, made more so by the fact that she doesn't wait for him to comply before asking—

"What did you think of me when we first met?"
heirring: ([043])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-14 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
'Clever' is fine.

"Not that I was very pretty?"

She has moved her hands to the arms of the chair, but it still leaning slightly forward—ready to twist her foot free once the lacing of the boot has come loose and Ellis makes to remove the shoe.

"Don't answer that. It wasn't a proper question, and we're playing by the rules now."
heirring: ([044])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-14 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
"Only because I told you not to answer, and so it isn't my fault the you didn't let me retract the question."

Apparently the removal of her second boot has done nothing to rescue them from arguing semantics territory. But at the very least, she does bend partway for this: tipping her face down toward him, and leaving some part of the distance for him to close. It's meant to be his kiss, after all. And if he can't tell her what it is that he wants from her, then he will simply have to find some way of showing her.
heirring: ([103])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-14 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
It is, in effect, the sort of kiss designed (intentionally or otherwise) to inspire impatience. Is there nothing more infuriating than having one's little display of vindictiveness met with methodical patience? To offer something as simple as kiss me how you like and be given this opportunity instead. It's like having a question answered with a question.

With the same impulsive urge to never let go of an argument (no wonder Byerly Rutyer finds her so exhausting), Wysteria stubbornly sways in under the shape of Ellis's hand. All at once, her hands do return to him: catching Ellis once more by the soft curls of his hair, only less gently. From this vantage she may take that sweet, yeilding kiss and make it insistent. Take the openness of his kiss and impetuously fill it with a little sound of exasperation and some impromptu, uncalculated press of tongue.

She can't very well throw him over her shoulder. But this is near to an equitable alternative. Stupid, well intentioned man.
heirring: ([044])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-15 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
There is the soft rasp of her tartan skirts and the quiet sting left behind by his teeth. She is aware, very distantly, of the heavy shape of his hand and how it spans across her thigh and the intent press of his fingers. Were she less fixated, she might take greater notice of it. It and the way her knees must part to allow him to shift closer could easily fluster.

But she is fixated—frustrated and impatient, made bold by that restraint she can sense lurking in him. How long has she been asking him to do as he likes? Weeks. Months. Eternities, surely. And yet here he is, patient and steady and bending only when she asks him to.

So she draws him into that space, as pointed as she is stubborn. If he is restrained, then she is not that. Her fingers have tightened into fists in Ellis' dark curls and these are not the delicate, breathing kisses from out of that book on the chevalier. She kisses him very hard, and tastes the heat of his mouth on her tongue, and is only faintly aware of the heat brimming in her middle because of it, and—

Wysteria gives his hair a brisk tug.
heirring: ([137])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-15 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
But it breaks a kind of hold, that sound he makes and the sigh of her name, and so all at once she says, "You were supposed to ask me more questions. And that way I could refuse to answer them and then you would have to help me undress. I'd decided on it already. Ages ago. Oh, I dislike how good you are at being cautious. It's truly dreadful. You are meant to have done something by now, you know. I shouldn't even be kissing you at all, but I am and yet here you are, being so—"

So—infuriatingly measured.

Wysteria makes a snitting, scoffing sound against the shape of his mouth. She squeezes her knees about him. Please, Ellis.
heirring: ([099])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-15 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh, Ellis," is all exasperation, and punctuated by the flex of her fingers. A less blunt tug. Some huff of breath exhaled very close to his mouth. "Everyone says—"

Wysteria straightens abruptly. Her face is warm; pieces of her gold hair have come unpinned and become fully flyaway and her grip on his temples hasn't relented in any particularly measurable fashion.

"You're not going to leave me, are you?"
heirring: ([088])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-15 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
"No, that's not—Well, yes. Everyone says that if you don't hold until then that your suitor will be a scoundrel, and take everything from you and then just go away. But that's not— Everyone says they have been the very picture of discretion and sensibility, I mean. But surely no one actually is, you know?"

She squeezes him again between her knees. Flexes her fingers in his hair.

"They're not." Almost sounds like a question. Are they?
heirring: ([060])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-15 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
Something behind her ribs clenches for that little truth. It's a complicated shape. Not resentment—she can hardly begrudge him his past or be jealous of a woman who helped to make Ellis as he is for her now. But—

"It does. Matter to me. But—" Here, finally, her grip on him relents a little. "I have placed my trust in you."
heirring: ([087])

[personal profile] heirring 2021-12-15 06:47 am (UTC)(link)
What if she didn't intend to kiss him? Imagine if she were strictly cold. Or if she only told him how much she would like to him, were she allowed to do such a thing. Surely that's what she is meant to do. If she were very sensible, it's how she would have treated him for all these months. That first kiss he'd stolen from her in the little kitchen of the Hightown house— she might have allowed that. But only because it was cleverly done, impulsive and secret. But the rest? She has held his hand and laughed in his company and let him set his teeth to her lower lip. He has seen her in little more than a shift, and she has seen him in his clinging wet clothes.

Those things. Those are things she shouldn't have permitted if she were being very strict about the whole business.

"Yes," she says. Her thumbs are set gently at the high points of his cheekbones. "Very much."

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doing gods work

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1000.... tosses confetti

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