when i go towards you it is with my whole life.
![]() | You came to the side of the bed and sat staring at me. Then you kissed me—I felt hot wax on my forehead. I wanted it to leave a mark: that’s how I knew I loved you. Because I wanted to be burned, stamped, to have something in the end— I drew the gown over my head; a red flush covered my face and shoulders. It will run its course, the course of fire, setting a cold coin on the forehead, between the eyes. You lay beside me; your hand moved over my face as though you had felt it also- you must have known, then, how I wanted you. We will always know that, you and I. The proof will be my body. — louise glück |


ruthlessly yada yada yadas past dinner
By contrast, Ellis is easily dealt with. Only at the very tail end, after Wysteria has more or less secured their entire meal does Ellis offer up his opinion when prompted: Yes, he too would like some tea with his meal.
Dead fade-touched creatures aside, it is a pleasant meal. Oddly more privacy than they would have been afforded in the lodge. The passing curiosity over the pair of them is nonspecific, keeps itself to a respectful distance. It's a far cry from being known, from being curious about the pair of them specifically. Maybe they would have been better served passing up the kind offer of the lodge and seeking other accomodations.
But meditating on that gets him nowhere, and Wysteria keeps up a lively flow of conversation throughout their meal that requires his attention. It carries them all the way up to the cozy little room Ellis passed over three coins to secure for them.
"The cook said she'd set aside some breakfast for us," Ellis is saying now. "I thought we'd rather have it downstairs than up here on a tray."
Not that Ellis had anyway of knowing that this room is just a bed piled with blankets and furs, a scattering of chairs, and a hearth when the question was asked.
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A perennially early riser, she is ordinarily one of the first members of Riftwatch down in the dining hall on days when she has taken a bed in the Gallows. Surely staying in charming mountain inns is no different. And it will be early enough that they may have lively conversation over toast and butter and jam and whatever outrageously oversalted slab of meat may be found for them without much need to moderate themselves beyond volume. Yes, eating at a proper table is very agreeable.
Though most things do at this moment. Wysteria has had three cups of that hot mulled wine, and a further cup of mushroom coffee, and it's put her already good spirits into fine ones. She isn't drunk per say (it must be said that Wysteria Ginsberg née Poppell can consume a truly prodigious quantity of alcohol with very little difficulty), but she is smiling and all rosy cheeked and good cheer as she goes about throwing her skates and her satchel into one of the waiting chairs. She stands with her back to the fire in the hearth and unwinds the thick blue knit shawl from about her shoulders.
"Mister Dickerson will be so pleased if I return with a wolf. A dead one won't be as nice as a live one, but I doubt anyone would let us keep one alive even if we were to make use of the lodge's kennel. Still, there may be plenty to learn from cutting a body open."
This is charming evening conversation, surely.
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But, knowing that Wysteria can carry a conversation quite far but not entirely on her own, Ellis obliges her with the obvious question:
"And what are you trying to learn?"
Probably something prudent to consider before they begin discussing how he might aide and abet her gathering of the aforementioned carcass.
At the table, Ellis had opened the buttons of his coat and pulled loose the folds of his scarf. Now he begins the process of shedding both, before bending to unlace his boots. The laces themselves are sodden still from melted snow, so no doubt Wysteria's will be too. He is already thinking to be sure they are all set by the fire to dry. Neither of them need to lose a toe to frostbite on this venture.
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Wysteria cheerfully folds the shawl into a neat triangle while she talks only to carelessly drape it over the back of the chair alongside her along things once she's finished. Evidently inspired by his own trajectory, she bends next to see to her admirably sensible winter boots.
"And whether it can be reverted and to what end the energy might otherwise be utilized. I think Mister Dickerson would like it very much if we could find some way of designing various fade-touched beasts according to our wishes."
So, morally questionable experiments. The usual.
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"Wouldn't that involve exposing them to the fade?"
Maybe he should simply be grateful that they're containing these experiments to animals, and not soliciting volunteers to be hurled into the fade. Or worse, taking turns tossing each other into the fade.
Small blessings.
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"We might try that once we understand a little more of how it should be done. But it seems inconsiderate to do before that point."
He is bent down wrestling with her boot laces. How far does she get unbuttoning the great slew of buttons along the ribs of her dress's bodice before he realizes what task her hands are occupied with?
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However, in this moment there's enough distance between now and then for Ellis to chuckle at her assessment.
In the course of encouraging one foot up, then the other, so he might work off both boots and set them aside, Ellis does become aware of the working of Wysteria's own hands. Of course she's found something to do with them. In all the time he's known her, Wysteria has proven herself incapable of remaining idle for very long.
Kneeling still, fingers circling one ankle beneath her hem as he looks up at her, Ellis entreats, "I meant to attend your buttons, Missus Ginsberg."
What a lovely thing it had been, to hear Wysteria introduce herself with his name. And strange, to find this balance between something long buried and fractured apart, and the unexpected pleasure of hearing her say the name.
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Her hands have stopped, but haven't fallen away.
She is all good cheer when she says, "I could do them back up again if you wished me to."
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The shift in their circumstance doesn't always feel real. In between the moments when he calls her wife, or her ring is made visible, they might be continuing along as they had been: trading these small touches behind closed doors, out of sight.
He ducks his head to kiss her, briefly and softly. Hands set on her hips, squeezing lightly before he circles around to attend the string of buttons. Turning her towards the fire as he does, betraying the line of thought that leads to—
"Are you still cold?"
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It's equal parts cheerful and sly, quite pleased with herself even as Wysteria allows herself to be steered closer to the hearth and the fire crackling along in it. She folds her hands obediently at her center, one over the other and, after a sparse moment where it seems she might insist on playing coy, she folds smoothly back into that pattering rhythm of chatter as he sees to her buttons—
"No, I'm not cold. That mulled wine did fine work, as so did all your attention. I hope Serah Tomar will bring us snowshoes tomorrow. I have a great fascination with them, but have never gone. I can't imagine traipsing about with great things on our feel will help in defending against wolves, of course, but otherwise— I imagine I will be much better at it than skating. After all, it's only walking."
She half turns.
"Are you still cold?"
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Is mostly true.
"It's melted now."
Is it an improvement to have a great damp patch spread across his back instead of a slurry of snow caught there? Hard to say.
Ellis bends, kisses the nape of her neck before assuring, "I'll leave everything to dry. It won't keep us from our expedition in the morning."
Whether or not Ellis is cold, his mouth is still warm enough where it finds her skin. It's his fingers that run cooler in the moment, though how much bother can they be through Wysteria's underthings?
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"I imagine if your things are still damp come morning that the lady of the house would be pleased to press them dry for you. We are seeing to their wolf problem, after all."
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"Don't count it solved just yet."
Has anything they've attempted gone as planned? Ellis doesn't need to recount all the ways in which even the most dull assignments have turned into some shade of disaster in the course of attempting to solve them.
The buttons come loose. Ellis has grown practiced.
"If I hadn't left the book back at the lodge I'd say we write back to Tony before we go."
Just in case.
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She raises her left hand with the anchor in it for emphasis. Then, seeing as it's up already, she makes to extract the arm attached to the aforementioned hand from the arm of her dress.
She has had practice too, and the prospect of a carcass to dissect has clearly distracted her sufficiently to make her immune to such things as embarrassment or bashfulness.
(And why should they find her even if there were no promising diversion of work?)
"Have you ever killed a wolf before? Fade touched or otherwise, I suppose. What is the Fereldan opinion on them, being as they're rather dog shaped in general?"
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It's a light kiss. Ellis' mouth doesn't remain there, even as his hands make their way down the last quarter of the buttons at the back of her dress. The temptation to lean into her as he speaks is clear, telegraphed even in that brief drop of a kiss and stymied in favor of completing the work at hand.
"There are some who believe we are descended from them," is as slow and methodical in delivery as the work of his hands. "That the man who united the tribes and settled the land was son of a werewolf, and the wolf remained in the blood. Anyone claiming to be a descendent of his might say they've wolf in them, and call them kin."
There's a passage in that book he'd given her, years ago now. Ellis thinks he'd have done better to mark it for her and pass it along with a note than give her this answer himself.
"But even so, you don't let your kin eat up your livestock."
And so the matter is reconciled, more or less.
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It's a good joke despite the impracticalities of the semantics such as the fact that Ellis is highly unlikely to ever be in the position to tell her cousins much of anything, much less to criticize their ravenous appetites. She is pleased enough with herself over it so as to be all smiles and high humor as she makes to peel her second arm free from its sleeve also.
"We have no such thing as werewolves in Kalvad, if indeed they can even be said to truly exist here. But we are meant to have the fae. They supposedly were creatures derived of the old untamed magics."
Liberated from the majority of her bodice, empty sleeves hanging comically about her waist, Wysteria turns round to him. The lacings of his tunic are familiar ones. She raises her hands to begin picking the tie open.
"It used to be that magicians—mages, rather—, the very powerful ones, were said to be distantly related to them. I can think of no good equivalent for them here in Thedas, save perhaps for spirits. They both traverse a place meant to be in a kind of parallel to the world which is seen every day. Although they, the fae, are of course only children's stories, whereas spirits clearly are quite real."
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Yes, they are married. Yes, the pretenses Ellis has shored up between them have dwindled. Still, a flicker of movement in his body before his hands settle back about her waist.
"They might be real," might be provocation, but comes as true suggestion.
All Ellis' heritage comes couched in legend and myth. Is it so far-fetched to consider that something may be more than has been presented?
"Take this off before you start worrying about my tunic," Ellis says, hands twitching the fabric of her skirt as he offers this quieter aside. Not meant to interrupt, but to avoid any lamentations about wrinkles in the morning.
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"If they were real, then they aren't any longer. In which case, I suppose we might describe them rather more like some combination between spirits and ancient elves—certain guardians of Mythal or what have you excepting. Surely no one has actually seen a fae creature in living memory, for there is no academic study of them save to examine them as fables. No, more likely they are an old allegory for practices among the martyrs which no one understood at the time. —The martyrs being one of the old allies that took and remade Kalvad."
She has worked the dress with it's plethora of woolen skirts down over her hips, and has stepped directly out of it. The resultant heap is fetched up, and cheerfully shaken into something like order by way of its shoulders. There are enough fastenings remaining between bodice and skirts that the thing holds together more or less in a single piece. This she passes unceremoniously into Ellis's care she she may untie the second set laces at her waist belonging to her proliferation linen underskirts. This is layering weather.
"Though I suppose you will have to take my word for it."
(He isn't the only one she has successfully distracted with her unrelenting chatter. It is much easier to be very direct and no-nonsense about the whole arrangement when she is talking along at a clip.)
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"Maybe you could tell me one of them," Ellis tells her as he turns back, reaches out to Wysteria for her hands again. "One of the fables, if you remember any."
Though that's hardly their custom.
But they'll never have a book of Kalvad's mythology to pass between them. Not unless it drops from a rift and survives the ensuing scuffle and closing.
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Somewhere in this long recitation, she has returned her hands to him in accordance with the invitation made by his own. Standing there in her long sleeved chemise and short stays, flat footed in her wooly stockings, she is extraordinarily unembarrassed—rosy cheeked and in broadly high spirits, the tempo of her conversation galloping gaily along to the crack-pop of the fire in the hearth. One of her hands turns; she pinches Ellis gently on the skin stretched between thumb and forefinger.
"Besides, I have heard that we have quite the early morning ahead of us."
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Though that is not a task for tonight. She's right. They will have to rise early to strap on snowshoes and tend to the needs of this village. There is a lovely warm bed for them, piled high with blankets and furs. It is late, and they might make their way into it.
Ellis observes there hands, the little pinch of her fingers as it prompts him.
"But we can go to bed," he acquiesces. Hint taken. "I assume we've a long walk and then hard work waiting for us at the end of it."
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Ellis rarely allows her the pleasure of squabbling so she can be correct, but sometimes this is a little like that—a cheery cycle of protesting some point or another, then folding with much false put upon exasperation usually only after he's relented a little to begin with. Here, the familiar game plays out with a dramatic tsk from Wysteria, and a lively slapping away of Ellis's hands as if to say, Oh, very well you. But only because you've asked so nicely—
She can do two things at once.
"Once a long time ago there were three siblings," she says, primly reaching once more for the lacings of Ellis's tunic. She is very delicate with undoing the cording, fussing with the tie. "Barclay, who was strong and handsome and loved his father, and Irmine who was clever and graceful and loved books, and Adda who was sly and knew all there was to of the land where they all were born.
"—They are all, naturally, representative of various bits of Kalvadan history," she adds. "This particular story is all meant to be about how the original throne was split."
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It occurs to him all at once that while he's undone all her laces and buttons before, he has more often managed his own laces and layers at her direction than given over the task to her initiative.
Drawing his thumbs over the light fabric at her stomach, watching her face as she works, relating the beginnings of her chosen story.
"Did they decide among themselves to divide it?" he asks. "Or were they charged with caring for the land together?"
If this is a story describing the splitting of a kingdom, then he could only reason that it followed that there would be a division at one point or another.
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"Oh no, not at all. Or rather, I suppose it was some combination of the two, as over the course of the nights each sibling was visited by a prophetic dream of sorts. Adda had a vision of a great region being divided, and Irmine the tongues of many people being distilled to into one shape, and Barclay had the most terrible vision of all which was his father's body being divided to nourish a dozen hungry mouths. And so and so forth—all highly metaphorical imaginings, I assure you."
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As attentive as he is to the story she is imparting, he is further focused on Wysteria. So far, there has been no real sign of nerves. Wysteria is still in high spirits, flushed and seemingly content with their present state.
Ellis doesn't reach back for her hands. He reclaims his space before her, instead letting his hands fall to the fastenings of his bracers as he asks, "What became of them when they woke from their metaphorical dreams?"
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foisting time skip duties upon you pls oblige as whims dictate
acceptable
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