when i go towards you it is with my whole life.
![]() | You came to the side of the bed and sat staring at me. Then you kissed me—I felt hot wax on my forehead. I wanted it to leave a mark: that’s how I knew I loved you. Because I wanted to be burned, stamped, to have something in the end— I drew the gown over my head; a red flush covered my face and shoulders. It will run its course, the course of fire, setting a cold coin on the forehead, between the eyes. You lay beside me; your hand moved over my face as though you had felt it also- you must have known, then, how I wanted you. We will always know that, you and I. The proof will be my body. — louise glück |


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"Not quite," she lies. A question for a question is far too easy a game. And is easily wriggled out of. She searches for a moment for an alternative, covering the pause by breaking her chosen scone in half until she finally settles on—
"It's a game where questions are asked and kisses are exchanged for answers. To be sure, ah, that by the time a couple is married that they know one another quite well."
Yes that sounds very possible.
"But it can't be played very well over dinner," she hastens to add. Obviously. "So we will have to talk about something else in the mean time and you may use the time to think up what you still care to ask me."
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“I’ll try to provide some challenge for you,” Ellis assured her gamely.
After all, he has been forewarned of all the things Wysteria has stored up thus far.
“Can I ask about the experiment you and Tony were working on last night?”
Tony’s comments on it had been mostly promises that the chemical reaction had been very minor, and unworthy of lengthy discussion. Ellis is expecting the exact same from Wysteria, but perhaps with a little more detail as to the chemicals involved. It would be a help, if he knew what he should need to counter in the future.
And while she explains, he can consider questions. Less ones he might ask, and more how he might answer ones Wysteria might put to him.
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Without thinking to preface it with a coy flutter of eyelashes as she ought to—'Yes, but what will you give me for it, Mister Ellis?' a clever woman in one of those terrible little books Alexandrie sometimes reads would say—, Wysteria promptly launches into an explanation of how she and Tony had been testing various components for smelting lighter armor plating, and how their latest combination requires fire treating and a glaze of liquified serpentstone ore, which naturally requires a powerful solvent such as—
So on and so forth, chattering along at breakneck speed as they share the dinner he's so studiously arranged for them. She is so pleased to tell him every little detail that by the time she reaches the end of the explanation, Wysteria has nearly forgotten that sense of foolishness she'd felt when he'd first snatched her up off her feet.
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"It sounds as if it's going well."
Minor fires aside.
"I was going to ask you how your game is started, but we needn't play if you'd rather read, or talk of something els.e"
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If there is a flicker of trepidation in her expression—
"No," she resolves. "No, it can't be helped. It's tradition, you know. And we can read any other evening. Or even after the game, I suppose. If you still care to. —Which I don't see why you shouldn't, of course. But, er—"
She gives the table setting a once over, and then searches her own skirt pockets until she produces a coin. Some of the dinner things are cleared to the side and the coin is poised for spinning.
"Heads or tails? Whichever of us loses will have to answer first."
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A kiss is the exchange, he knows. But if there is a reward, there is likely some penalty, and it's better to know ahead of time so he might consider how best to offset it.
And in all their time together, he has grown used to the idea of how exacting Wysteria is regarding certain kinds of rules.
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"There must be a penalty. But I don't remember what it's meant to be. Would you like to suggest one?"
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But whatever he takes from the long moment of quiet study, it culminates in:
"I don't suppose forfeiting the kiss is enough of a penalty."
A joke, really. Ellis knows she expects more than that.
"It wouldn't be fair if I were drinking water and you drinking the wine," is a different sticking point. A neat solution struck from the list of possibilities. "Would you like something off me?"
His hand comes to his chest, rests over the burnished copper fastenings of his gambeson. And with that movement, the assumption: Ellis is the one who will be doing most of the forfeiting.
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You know. Hypothetically speaking. If this were a legitimate game and now some foolishness she were making up for her own amusement.
And then all at once Wysteria registers his meaning and in the same moment some flush of color registers at the back of her neck. It rapidly spreads into her ears and hairline, growing briefly very pink.
"Yes, that will do," is quite assertive despite her embarrassment. "Call it if you please, Mister Ellis."
She spins the coin.
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But it seems inevitable that he loses soundly to her, and so—
"Heads," is said very steadily, as he leans back in his chair. One hand remains on the table, toying with the folded hem of the napkin while he watches her tend to the coin.
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Heads.
Wysteria raises her attention expectantly. The color is still warm on the back of her neck.
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But he hadn't. And so there is a beat of silence as he examines the coin on the table, then lifts his eyes up to her face. Wishes, briefly, that they were sat closer. He'd like to take her hand as they speak.
With table between them, Ellis is resigned to straightening in his chair, setting elbows on the table. Clearing his throat.
"It feels as if you've told me everything I might have asked at a first meeting," he says, a little rueful, a little amused. "What would your parents make of your marriage?"
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As if Wysteria has ever limited herself to two words with even the most hateful of Tevinter kidnappers.
She has snatched the copper from the table and disappeared it back into the pocket of her skirts. This minor point of outrage has cooled the heat of her flush considerably. And anyway, it's a simple question.
"My mother would dislike it and my father would think it was perfectly suitable. He comes from common—if you'll forgive the term; you know my meaning—stock too, you know. I think she could be swayed over on account of your Warden business being just a little like the northern Hausseurs. Very, very little like it. In the sense that they are both engaged in protecting against threats, and also that they have secrets and so on. And the money might be a point of contention, of course. But if we were there or they were here, I don't see how it would matter. It would sort out either way."
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Common doesn't sting, but it does prick the way a splinter might. Some small discomfort, easily set aside.
"Aye, I imagine so," Ellis agrees. "I've never known you to be swayed from a thing once you've set your mind to it."
Why would marriage be any different then the various explosives and contraptions she's been gambling with for as long as they've known each other?
"Do I collect a kiss now, or later?"
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"Oh now, I should think. Otherwise we might ask one another questions all evening and never get round to doling out the prizes."
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He might say something. Wysteria's old rules, instructing: You're meant to ask first.
There is a slight pull of a smile instead, working at Ellis' face as he lifts a hand to set gentle fingers along her jaw. Ellis tips her face up as he bends down to meet her, and set a kiss to her mouth. He takes his time there, lingering close, kissing her thoroughly because there was no mention in the rules as to what sort of kiss he might give her.
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That said, it's a better kiss than she's expecting. If their positions were reversed, she might have kissed his cheek or his temple or only given him a chaste little kiss on the mouth like a playful tug at his tunic hem. This is not that. It's full and sweet and patient. The scrape of his beard is pleasantly chafing. It doesn't bring the heat back into her face. Rather, the kiss serves to cool some nervous impulse. It makes for a fine point on which to focus so that when they do part, the buzzing of her attention has narrowed and quieted considerably.
Nevermind the silly subterfuge and her almost stabbing him to death with a hair pin. The room is very thoughtful, and it's kind that he's gone to so much effort to make her happy.
Wysteria's face remains turned up toward him, her mouth soft. But she doesn't let him withdraw very far before asking—
"Which is your favorite color?"
See. She can be kind too.
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"Generous," is not a color, but it's said almost against her lips, murmured against the corner of her mouth. It's against the rules, isn't it? Stealing a kiss when he hasn't given her an answer.
So he tells her, "Blue," as his fingers slip along the arch of her neck, graze the fabric of her collar, as he kisses her again. It's just as thorough. He braces his free hand on one arm of the chair as he bows down to her.
Maybe these aren't the sort of kisses the game requires. But they are what he has to give, all tenderness and focus narrowed down to every place their bodies meet before he straightens up.
"Do you prefer the Gallows or the Hightown house?"
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"Hightown," she says. Her hands are still neatly folded on the table despite the wandering of his. "But only on account of what's been done with it. Your little garden is very sweet and I like the privacy of my work room and its very amusing to have a little side gate and all that. I don't dislike the Gallows like some people do though. And I enjoy the ferry. Now bend so I can kiss you, or help me up from this chair."
She waggles a hand impatiently at him.
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Their noses bump. Ellis presses his smile once more against the corner of her mouth. His thumb slides along her jawline.
He kisses her again. He takes his time about it. Maybe this is less about the game and more about how good it is to hear that the garden pleases her. All this time later, and he is still glad to hear it.
"Am I allowed to give you a gift on our wedding night?"
Something that risks innuendo, surely, but.
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And then because it's only fair, she steals a brief kiss from the corner of his mouth. If he's going to be such a cheat then turn about is only fair—
"But yes. I don't see why that shouldn't be allowed."
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It is a surprisingly difficult question.
The fact that he has to think on it at all is what makes him pause. The strangeness of the thing draws out the space between her answer and his, Ellis' thumb running back and forth across her knuckles as he thinks.
"Suppose I haven't a favorite friend?"
Apart from the pair of them, of course.
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"I'm not counting that as one of your questions." Obviously. "If you really can't rank them, then I will make do with the names of whoever comes most instantly to mind today. I know that some days it can be difficult to pick favorites."
(She's heard, anyway. She could name her preferences at any moment.)
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She is being gentle with him. Ellis can sense the difference, though he can't quite decide how he might thank her for it.
There is another moment though, where Ellis turns the question over. Considers, casting about until settling up—
"Richard."
Punctuated by a little squeeze of her hand, silent request for payment now that an answer has been provided.
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Ha ha ha we have fun here.
Pleased with herself, she tips forward and kisses Ellis primly on his brow. Maybe this marks the end of her generosity.
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reuploading an icon specifically for this
doing gods work
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1000.... tosses confetti
what an accomplishment
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